ADHD and Motherhood

I have ADHD but didn’t know it until recently. Given that my son has autism, I’ve been quite curious about the relation between autism and ADHD. I found this post by a mother with high functioning autism and I felt a little like I do about being a mother. While I love it, I do worry I should be doing something better and I have no idea because my brain works a little differently.

Armed with the reading I’d done, I explained the gap between intellectual intelligence and emotional intelligence that a lot of us with AS experience.

This is so true not just of autism but also in my experience ADHD. You realize why you have been different but you’re still at a loss as to how you gain emotional intelligence most people take for granted. Like how to talk about the weather. It was a relief to see these sorts of things are now part of behavioral therapy and my son will be able to learn them as he is treated.

As a woman, the symptoms of ADHD are different than those of boys and men. I daydreamed instead of running around, I did well in school and I’ve managed to keep several jobs. All without knowing what was going on with me and thinking I just had to try harder to stay organized.

It wasn’t until I could not deal with all of my son’s toys making so much noise that I had the first inkling something was up. I have read that often women find out they have diagnosed ADHD only when their child is diagnosed with ADHD. Great. How many women have suffered because doctors used the wrong definition? A few months ago I mentioned it to a doctor who was examining my son and the guy mansplained ADHD to a woman with ADHD and he gave the wrong symptoms too by the way.

The main key I’ve seen is both ADHD and autism may be linked to sensory processing disorder. Some doctors don’t believe it exists, but as someone who is hypersensitive to noise and light yet able to survive in everyday life, it’s hard to believe they aren’t related at all. I’m glad my impairments don’t add up to autism but I do feel like I can understand just a litte.


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